How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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