Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
