I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
