Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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