I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
