Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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