she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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