I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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