i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
