Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
