whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
