Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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