I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i out mim tonsoeep
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