p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
