i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
