I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
