Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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