I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
