Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
