He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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