Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
