She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
