at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
