You can't motorboat a personality
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
