I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
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