Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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