you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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