His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
