i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
