he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
