were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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