Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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