wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
