Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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