He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
my liver is dry heaving
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
