Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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