Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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