Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
