I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Randomize
