do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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