Me. At least after what I've been through.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
