Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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