Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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