Can Purell be used as lube?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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