I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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