I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
