I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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