Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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