What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
