they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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