i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
