dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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