I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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