I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
