I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
