I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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