I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
