Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
